Poems

Occasionally I get inspired and like to write poems.. so here is my space to share. 

Copyright Julie Hopper 2017 to present day, applies to all of my poems.

POEMS by Julie V. Hopper 


A Place Where A River Once Flowed

I used to go-
to a place –
where a river once flowed.

Now dried up with trash-
in a place –
with no more cash.

The people there-
are tired and weary-
lacking time to care.

A place with global warming-
mass shootings-
and pesticide farming.

Constantly in the news-
but the people just swallow it-
with a glass of booze.


7/17/18- Poem update: Yesterday was my dad’s birthday, and unfortunately I couldn’t celebrate it with him because he passed away on January 21st 2017. I wrote a lot of poems about his passing and also my time helping take care of him at our family home in his last two months. We had at-home hospice care. But what this really meant is that we had nurses that visited every day for an hour or so, and then we (my mom, myself, my husband and sometimes some family friends) did all the rest. It was a very difficult period, but I was glad I could be there with him. I haven’t shared these poems yet, but here they all are in bulk in the hope these poems help those that have experienced the death of a loved one, or experienced/experiencing taking care of those they love. Please do not distribute without my permission. Copyright 2018 Julie V. Hopper


By Your Side, Hand-in-Hand

By your side, hand-in-hand-
Silently promising to never let go-
Afraid of the future that we both know-
I keep holding and rubbing your hand.

By your side, hand-in-hand-
Vigilantly watching your chest-
Move up and down while you rest-
I show my love with the touch of my hand.

By your side, hand-in-hand-
Listening to every struggled breath-
Hoping it’s not yet time for death-
Time passes…like grains of sand.

By your side, hand-in-hand-
Trying not to give in to sleep-
Or let you see me weep-
Above all, I can’t let go of your hand.

By your side, hand-in-hand-
Feeling your soft touch and meaningful grip-
I can’t fall asleep and let you slip-
Time passes, we remain hand-in-hand.

By your side, hand-in-hand-
Entering the Sandman, he takes me away-
I awake to an unbearable day-
For I –let go of your hand.

By your side, hand-in-hand-
Viewing your chest- no longer rising-
Your eyelids no longer moving-
I cling to your ice-cold hand.

By your side, hand-in-hand-
Saying goodbye as they take you away-
I kiss your forehead to say its okay-
I miss you and the touch of your hand.


The Empty Room

I stare at the empty room.
The room once full of life-
Where we sat as your daughter and wife.

The room that you woke in.
The room that you slept in.
The room that we held hands in.
The room that we cried in.

I stare at the empty room.
The room so filled with sadness-
Where you died from your sickness.

The room that we watched TV in.
The room that we gave your medication in.
The room that we pet the dogs in.
The room that we massaged your feet in.

I stare at the empty room.
The room where you took your last breath-
Where you were carried away by death.


The Day They Took You Away
 
Remember that day-
The day they took you away?
They lifted you, up and out of your bed-
To take you to the home for the dead.

Later that day, we came to visit you-
I whispered that I love you.
Then, in that home for the dead-
I replied with what you would’ve said.
I held your hand and gave you one last kiss-
And told you everything I’d miss.

After visiting, we paid for a Rabbi-
And asked him what happens after you die.
Then we were asked a question-
Pertaining to your cremation.
And they told us the price-
Of an urn that was nice.

When we returned home that day-
Nothing was the same.
Because that day–they came-
And they took you away.


Hours and Days

Hours and Days-
Mornings and Nights
Chaos and Calm

Good and Okay-
Bad and Worse,
Sick and Sicker.

Nurses and Doctors-
Baths and Vitals,
Bedsores and Creams.

Naps and Snacks-
Pillows and Blankets,
Hot and Cold Drinks.

TV and Massages-
Guests and Dogs,
Chatter and Silence.

Pain and Breathless-
Constipation and Diarrhea,
Anxiety and Restless.

Oxycodon and Lorazepam-
Senna and Doc-Q-Lax,
Oxycontin and Halidol.

Kisses and Hugs –
Hope and Despair,
Love and Helpless.

Beginning and End-
Suffering and Peace,
Father and Daughter.


Waiting for something that I don’t want happening

Everyday seeing you,
Caring for you,
And Loving you.

The Morning routine
The Nighttime routine
With Naps in-between

Everyday another reminder-
That you are getting sicker.
Days becoming a blur.

I want it to be over-
And I want the days to linger,
What I want- I can’t be sure.

So I Wait for Something-
That I don’t want happening-
But hope to end all this suffering.

Waiting for something,
That I don’t want happening.
Please-Don’t let death ring.


“Be Strong”

“Be Strong”, they tell me.
I smile at them-
But if only they could see.

“Be Strong”, they write.
I send them thank you letters-
But they don’t understand my plight.

“Be Strong”, they express.
I see that they care-
But this will not relieve my distress.

“Be Strong”, they sympathize.
I appreciate their thoughts-
But there are better ways to empathize.

“Be Strong”, they say.
I thank them-
But I wish they’d all go away.


Are You There?

Are you there?
I wish you were here-
Even if you were near-
Perhaps my eyes wouldn’t tear.

Are you there?
If I could just feel your presence-
The world again might make sense-
And maybe I’d stop being so tense.

Are you there?
Please- if you are here-
Know in my heart that you are dear-
And a world without you I can’t bear.


Wish I could call you

Wish I could call you-
Just to say I love you.

Like the old days-
When you’d tell me about the Blue Jays.

When you used to say-
It’d all be okay.

I’d rejoice-
Just to hear your voice.

Wish I could call you.
Because I really miss you.


“Screaming Inside”

Screaming inside when I think about you-
And remember all the things we used to do.

Screaming from the pain-
And of the spirit world’s gain.

Screaming because I lost you-
And it was all too soon.

Screaming because I miss you-
And I wish I could talk to you.

Screaming because I want to hug you-
And I miss hearing “I love you”.

Screaming inside-
And hoping you’re still by my side.